www.thedotdots.com

The following letter has been reduced graphically due to the nature of the report. All identity has been protected but it is a true account of abuse/rape as outlined by its writer.

Having spare time on my hands during holiday periods were often spent on the grounds of where one of my parents worked… There were plenty of facilities to keep me occupied and was very close to home. Co-workers would often be good company, but one in particular was more than most.

I recall being invited down to a basement staff accommodation and spending time having drinks and sandwiches, but what eventually came out were magazines for me to look through. These were adult magazines and I was being encouraged by this one person to take great interest in them… As time went by and in broken English I was asked “you luff me?” … I remember asking to repeat, then was the same reply. Believing it was just a language/culture version of “like”, I thought no more of that as a problem, so just said “yes”.

A little later, another magazine was given me and was left to look through until a few minutes later having returned and sat in their chair, he exposed his genitals and asked me to play with them… he took my hand and placed it there and asked me to rub the area. He then asked me to lick that area, but I said no… This was shortly followed when he got up and pulled me over to his bed and I was face down with him on top… He then removed my clothing and I could not move… I was then receiving him although I kept asking please stop, but continued until he had withdrawn and then gave me a tissue to wipe my bottom. I was hurting but also afraid and confused, I had never had any kind of experience and he then said “you like it, yes?” “You do it with friends, yes?” … I said no, he then smiled and after an hour he let me out of the locked door. I went home but just did not know what to say, if anything, or to whom. I felt embarrassed by this intrusion and I really felt I could not turn to anyone to explain what happened. Who would believe me? What would they say? I just remained quiet about it and soon the pain was gone.

I saw him again a week later and he again asked if I liked what he did and I did not reply, but he wanted to meet me again… I knew this was not right but I thought maybe I could get him caught if I made a plan. I now understood what had happened to me and how serious it was, so I said that I would meet him in a churchyard (but I would plan to tell the Police or someone so he could be caught). I again did not have the nerve to tell anyone, so just left it until a few days later I saw him again… I asked him why he had not turned up (pretending I had waited), but he said he had been too busy. I wondered if he had thought it a trap or just not available.

Time passed by a while, then I was asked to help him out with some cleaning… I was nervous about this but it meant I could earn a little money for working, so I went to help. Very quickly after entering a room, he came behind me and forced himself upon me and made very rapid and painful intrusions. As quick as I could, I left the room and headed back home… I could not believe this could happen, but rather than be angry and let someone know, I felt I just needed to keep it to myself… I could never return to that place again and I could never be brave enough to tell anyone, ever… I just lived with that until one day I learned that he had gone back to his homeland and had now died.

It was my best friend that informed me of the death, and that brought some happiness to my mind and it was only that because so many years had now passed and I trusted my friend with life, I began to tell the story that he had attempted to do things to me, but I only said that he attempted… I was thankful for only saying that much at that time, because he was absolutely disgusted as was his wife, that this man would attempt anything, as he was also the Godfather to their children… He said had he known he was like that; he would never have let him near his children… ever. I was so glad that I said no more on that as it would have destroyed my friends and quite basically, it was all beyond belief even without knowing the full story… I could not tell him, but I did feel a little easier but also uncomfortable that I had made that statement… So living on with that memory continues on until now, where I put the memory to words on the internet.

The worst scandal of this entire trauma is that at the time of intrusions, he was a man of about 50 years old but I was a boy of only 13!

Long ago has passed and again more time, and over the last year I have been having some troubles from that area that sometimes leaks and wonder if it is due to that intrusion or something completely different… Either way, now I am just too embarrassed to get it checked out… I really don’t know.

Abuse Law

Fire in Ice

Male Rape

Victim Support

Supportline UK

Surviving Rape

I have created a few pages here as listed below, that detail some information of which I trust will be useful to all and cover some aspects of Health Concerns...

• Anorexia Nervosa / Bulimia Nervosa

• A Woman Thing

• Bioforce

• Birth Grief

• Body Peace

• Cancer Care

• Childline UK & ZA

• Deafness

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• Domestic Violence

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• Injury Lawyers

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• Mental Health

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