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BULLYING

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Updated 22nd November 2006

 

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The following reports are genuine, but due to legal reasons, names and cases cannot be stated and as such, any coincidence in this report will be only coincidence as every effort has been taken to protect privacy of all involved… If you have any stories you would like to add here in strictest confidence, please get in touch...

ChildLine is confidential - which means we won't tell anyone about your call unless you want us to talk to somebody for you, or you are in danger.

Their lines can be busy at times, but hold on and you will be answered.

0800 1111

www.childline.org.uk

A Mother's despair...

“I have worked in school environment for many years; however, this did not prepare me for the worst shock of all, the day my son was injured by a bully”

The Background: My son was 12 years old; he was in Year 7 of a mixed secondary school. We had moved to the area 2 months before, due to the extreme anti social behaviour of my ex husband. Therefore, my son was in a new environment and very much the "new kid". Although he makes friends easily, he was still "new boy" and finding his feet within his peer group.

The Trauma: Lunchtime Wednesday; my son was playing football in the school playground with boys from same year and above. The School officially employ teaching assistants as lunchtime supervisors but there aren't any in the vicinity of the football pitch. My son is in goal, two lads from year 8 trip him up and hold him on the ground while a third kicks him in the head, on the right hand side at the back of the head. A year senior boy who is not involved in the football game sees what has happened and takes my son into school for first aid. Two of my son's friends hear the lads say "We've got it filmed" indicating that this was a "happy slapping" type of incident.

The School gave my son an ice pack and sent him to lessons!!! No phone call or anything, but that's another story. First I hear is when I get in from work, yes my son is a latchkey kid until I get home, but he has the dog and neighbours watching out for him and as a single mum having to put a roof over our heads, I have no choice.

9pm Wednesday; I Ring the emergency doctor, my son is suffering from concussion. He had to take regular doses of ibuprofen and Paracetemol in between. He is dazed, has one hell of a headache and a massive bump on the head.

4am Thursday; Still awake with my son who is crying in pain

8am Thursday; I rang my boss to say that I cannot work today because of my son's injury. This means that the child I work with on a 1:1 basis will go unsupported today because of the child who chose to kick my son in the head. I will not be paid for the time off, which affects me financially.

Midnight Thursday; Just getting into bed, my son has still got a severe headache and double vision. He feels dizzy even when lying down. He doesn't want the police involved; he is scared of the repercussions.

Friday; My son was due to play in a County cricket match today but he is too ill. He's having a second day off school; I'm having a second day off work. More loss of earnings, no support for the child I work with and my darling son in absolute agony.

10am Friday; I take my son to the GP. We only make it as far as Reception, the receptionist calls the A&E department and we are told to go straight there. I am beside myself.

11am Friday; He is strapped onto a table for a CT scan. The doctors are worried about his eyesight, the optical nerve could be damaged and they want to check for blood clots on the brain. He is crying because I'm not allowed in the room, my beautiful brave lad. I'm outside crying and trying to be brave because he needs me. My youngest son went to school in tears because he is worried about his brother. I'm trying to be strong for them both.

1pm Friday; The boy's parents are FINALLY called into school and he is excluded from school for three days.

3pm Friday; Reports say that my son should be fine; he needs an optician’s appointment in 6 weeks to check that there is no permanent damage to the eye on the right hand side.

Tuesday almost 3 weeks later; My son asks for painkillers as he has a really bad headache and a stiff neck. He looks ill, and I have no choice but to take a third day off work. I ring the GP because I'm worried.

11am Tuesday; GP says that this is whiplash injury caused by the way the head injury was inflicted. My son is to rest and no sports for two weeks. This is a real blow; he plays cricket, football and rugby. Sport is his passion.

12 noon; Enough is enough; we go and report this to the police who are actually shocked at the extent of the injuries from one kick.

Monday; My son makes a statement to police about what happened. The boy who did this will be spoken to and a record will be made.

Do we want him charged? Not particularly, but we want him brought to his senses and realise the impact that this mindless act had.

  • The physical injuries: bump on the head, headaches, dizziness, double vision, sickness, dilated pupils, whiplash injury
  • The mental scars, which take much longer, if ever to heal
    The impact on other family members, his brother and I, lack of sleep, time off work, loss of earnings, lack of support for the special needs pupil I work with, stress and worry.
  • Tackling the school and dealing with the police

And all for what reason? My son is a gentle giant, he is 12 years old, 5’ 9” and has men’s size 13 feet. He's always been told that the way to win battles is not with physical violence. His crime? To have been picked for a cricket team ahead of this other lad.

If you were wondering, if the bully is a "chav", or from a deprived background etc. Well, no, he is the child of two professional parents from a very middle class background. All I can say is that I am so very proud of my son and if anything, he is a stronger person for being so brave and getting through this. Oh and he's had the girls flocking round him since, wanting to look after him, so maybe every cloud does have a silver lining after all.

Consequently, we had a letter from the police saying: Been arrested, admitted his actions and, in accordance with our Youth Diversion Policy, has received an official Reprimand and been strongly advised on his future conduct.

So, if you are affected by this issue and are in any doubt about getting the police involved, my advice would be don't hesitate, let's stamp out bullying.

Summary: You may be shocked at the knock on effects

If you have concerns for your child that may be bullied and would like to get advice or assistance; please check out the following website…

www.bullying.co.uk

I have created a few pages here as listed below, that detail some information of which I trust will be useful to all and cover some aspects of Health Concerns...

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